Imagine for a moment, that you just lost your husband, your child, a parent … and reporters are fighting for your attention, asking you to sort through all your emotions and loss to talk with them exclusively – oh, and by 6 p.m. tonight.
Such an unfathomable situation recently hit a family friend experiencing a life lost in a very public way. By offering to help them manage an onslaught of media calls, I got a front-row seat to the ways media – particularly national media – positions itself to nab an exclusive and dramatic story.
It wasn’t pretty.
In the midst of this crisis, it hit me: No one ever prepares for this side of a disaster. We get insurance, wills and commit to donating organs, but we never consider how to handle all the issues that come up if you suddenly become a “media spectacle” during the darkest moments of your life.
My day job is getting media to cover stories that reflect issues important to the clients I represent. But last month, the tables were turned and I used every skill I’d ever learned in my 20-year-long PR career to convince the press to go away.
Allow me a moment to illustrate how easy it is to suddenly become front and center in a media maelstrom:
· Your strip-mall electronics business gets robbed and you “stand your ground,” to a disastrous end.
· A decision your great-great-grandfather made about owning slaves makes your story one that every media outlet would like to run with.
· You get into an accident with a famous sports star.
· A building collapses and you are the single person rescued, as a video camera captures it all.
· Your brother signs off on an inspection that results in an airplane crash killing hundreds of people.
Each of these stories equal headlines, which means photos and videos of the situations are hot commodities. If you happen to be caught in one of these high-profile, catastrophic situations, you or your loved ones become targets not of your own making. And here’s what happens as soon as those first images and videos start circulating:
· Texts from press come pouring in so fast you can’t even count them.
· Your phone rings … it’s Anderson Cooper’s producer and he wants you on the show at 8 o’clock tonight.
· Press start cross-referencing your name and find contact information for your ex-spouse, cousins and high school friends. Then they call each one of them to get quotes and interviews about you.
· Perhaps the person of interest passed away and you can’t get into their social media accounts fast enough to take them down, so photos from the site start circulating. Now you see painful images of this person everywhere and no one even asked you if that was OK.
· You will fume wondering how so many people you’ve never met got your personal cell phone number in a matter of minutes. The calls and messages are all awash in the grief you are feeling – terrible, horrible, absolutely drowning in and numb with grief.
It’s a harrowing situation no one wants to even think about, but this, my fellow Upper Eastsiders, is how it goes. Modern technologies encourage everyone to wear the badge of reporter and most are more than willing to step into that role.
So think ahead.
· Make sure someone you trust has your social media passwords. In a crisis, they may need to take that site down right away. If there’s no photos or video, there’s virtually no story.
· Think of which trusted friend could take media calls on your behalf. This doesn’t have to be a PR pro, just someone with enough sense to provide a buffer and give you a moment to size up a situation. You need someone who can think clearly and help you make rational decisions that benefit you long term, not just in that one moment of emotion that you could very well regret someday.
· GoFundMe pages are like neon light news releases beckoning reporters to track you down. If you aren’t interested in interviews, state in your overview “Not taking press calls,” or refer them to a third party.
· Throw some masking tape into the back of your car. If you’re involved in a motor vehicle situation and pulled over by police, cover your license plate number to prevent someone from tracing the car to you.
· If you’re caught on video by someone with a phone or by press, record yourself asking them to not show your face. Depending on the situation, some media will acquiesce, especially if there is a reasonable expectation of privacy.
Most reporters are hardworking moms, dads, brothers or sisters who have no desire to hurt or exploit, but there are vultures out there – for them, you will need all the tools in your kit to give you time to decide how, and if, you want to share your story.
In honor of those family members whose lives are forever changed following the collapse of Champlain Towers South on June 24, 2021.
When wearing her work hat, Lisa Mozloom is a media and presentation training coach and PR practitioner at The M Network, but at home she is a woman passionate about raising three teens, loving her husband, and finding ways to extend hospitality and hope to those around her.