American culture – and Floridian culture especially – has worked hard to suppress the memory that Groundhog Day was once a sacred celebration. The Celtic people called it Imbolc, and it was marked not by trapping aging, cynical comedians in time-loops until they learn the value of romance, but by fragile lights in the depths of winter. Candles in cottage windows. Bonfires to beat back the snow. Remembrance of the first buds beginning to wake on the branch-tips, the first ewes growing heavy with their yet-to-be-born lambs on that day halfway between the winter solstice and the spring equinox.
Drinking was part of that tradition: cups sweetened with honey or made savory with rosemary (the herb of remembrance), milk for the melting snow, and poppy seeds for the drowsy springtime. It was also a holiday for – how to put this politely? – canoodling. Keeping each other warm under that blanket. Those lambs didn’t get made with sidelong glances from separate stalls, after all.
Instead, we get a large marmot squinting into the pale light of a dozen TV cameras in a town a few hundred miles north of here. And two weeks later, we get the day of hearts and arrows, chocolates and roses, Tiffany’s and Victoria’s. The vibe (so to speak) is different. Valentine’s might be named for a saint, but it’s not exactly a sacred celebration. It’s more a day of indulgence, and, for those of us not naturally inclined to demonstrations of deeply held emotions, an evening of grave anxiety.
But this is a magic city.
If that anatomically correct bright-red gummy heart didn’t win the delighted response you’d anticipated (this can happen), there’s a place. If you’re the wry and rugged sort who feels freer flying solo (but not totally friendless), there’s a place for that. If you’re one of the lucky fools ready to make a splash with someone who has captured your fancy, well, there are quite a few places for that, too.
For the dedicated Biscayne tippler, there is always a place to survive the blazing Florida midwinter. Some of us may be Cyrano de Bergerac, and some of us may be Charles Bukowski, but Miami offers us all a way to spark up our spirits in style. This, then, is a February pub crawl for either of us: the local lovers helping Cupid’s arrows find their bull’s-eyes, or the ones who prefer a good time to a great date, or at least those who like to have a fallback plan.
THE OPENING GAMBIT
For the pitchers of woo, the Miami skyline is an elegant, effective, and awe-inspiring armament capable of broaching even the most well-defended emotional fortifications. To deploy it most effectively, it’s best to use the water. You get double the panorama because it reflects all those pretty lights.
Head to Brickell, and try the Mandarin Oriental. The MO Bar + Lounge has a menu with a staggering 250 martini varieties, served in an intimate space overlooking Biscayne Bay and the skyline. On Valentine’s Night itself, guests are greeted with champagne and can enjoy an exclusive, impressive four-course Greek dinner prepared by executive chef Bertrand Valegeas, visiting from the hotel’s Greek sister-property Mandarin Oriental, Costa Navarino. On any night, though, MO Bar also has Asian-inspired small bites (try the truffle-and-mushroom sushi roll) as well as live music and innovative cocktails. And that view.
For the flipside, you could do worse than plotting out a groundhog’s evening of entertainment less than two miles up the road at El Vecino, the cigar bar featured in this column not too many months ago. The vibe is relaxed, spontaneous, social, and very local.
“Most of the people who we get are people who just walked over,” says Nicolás A. Jiménez, the cigar program director and partner. “A heavy amount of our guests are people who live within maybe three blocks.”
A SECOND LOCATION
If neither the Cupids nor the groundhogs are ready to call it a night after the first stop, there are a few options for extending the evening – or starting a second night of revelry.
A good recommendation for romance would be … well, you could always slide from MO Bar to the neighboring La Mar Peruvian restaurant still in the Mandarin Oriental. Or, slip off downtown for a complete change of pace at Torno Subito on East Flagler, where the two of you can nibble on risotto disguised as a pizza and sip on a citrusy Sbagliato Sicilia Spritz, made with prosecco, limoncello, lemon bitters, Luxardo Bitter Bianco, and Dolin Blanc.
If that date goes bust, or you’re just looking for good cheer, venture over the causeway to West Avenue on South Beach and Bodega Taqueria and Tequila, where happy hour features snacks like yuca frita or chips and guacamole, and, behind one of the unlikeliest speakeasy entrances, possibly the best collection of tequilas on South Beach. They’ve got frozen margaritas, beer, and well drinks, too, and they’re open until 3 a.m.
ROUNDING THIRD
A hop, skip, and block over from Bodega and you’ll find a location that is, surprisingly enough, the best of both worlds: The Joyce.
For the Cupid contingent, a sit-down dinner or a few drinks inside the Española Way establishment can be an aesthetic experience. Co-founded by art collector Andre Sakhai, a trustee of the Institute of Contemporary Art, Miami, the interior showcases collectible furniture by Gio Ponti and Joe Colombo and works from Sakhai’s art collection, including pieces by Picasso and Basquiat. Chef James Taylor, who has worked at Michelin-starred restaurants like Roister and Alinea, oversees the dining as well as a curated wine list of over 100 labels and a cocktail program designed by a Japanese mixology master.
Outside the same location, there’s a whole different vibe. The Window at The Joyce offers “elevated American street food” created by Taylor, including such rarefied delicacies as “griddled burgers with melted cheese.” He apparently spent two and a half years perfecting his burger technique, and pairs them with – what else? – meticulously made milkshakes. Of course, the same masterful cocktails as the artsy interior experience are there for the ordering.
Said Sakhai, “We want to create spaces where locals and visitors alike can experience top-tier dining without the premium price tag, which is something that’s not often found in Miami Beach.”
HEADING HOME
Finally, the hour is late and you’ve had nearly as much bliss – or good-natured wallowing – as you can stand. There’s nothing wrong with heading home for what could be the next chapter of the perfect night.
Alternately, there’s always Mac’s Club Deuce. We’ve mentioned it before and no doubt will again. Within a few hundred footsteps, you can find the nightcap of nightcaps, a world-class dive bar that remains a monument to the magic of Miami. Will there be drunken drag queens inside? Quarrels over the ownership of a live iguana? Entanglements between pool players and plastic surgeons, hurricane researchers and Harley riders, rising soccer stars and salsa instructors down on their luck?
You never know until you sit at the bar and order something interesting. Because interesting is the Deuce’s specialty – and if that’s not love, what is?
Grant Balfour is a Miami Beach native, writer, editor, traveler, musician, bon vivant and our official Biscayne Tippler.