She has the best smile.
My mother’s smile was always confirming or hopeful with an aura of warmth, even in the worst of moments. I could always count on my mom to gift me with a smile that meant something, whether I was offering her a broken toy or a scribbled drawing. As I got older and began to assess my gifts to her, I recognized that a mother’s superpowers were real, because only a mother could love the things I offered her.
Now, that sounds like a textbook description about all mothers. By and large, this is true, but it made me think of how textbook our offerings are to mothers as adults.
Have we graduated from offering the same things to our moms – for birthdays, holidays and Mother’s Day?
I’m a mother myself, but this isn’t meant to be self-serving; it’s meant to be a real assessment. What are we offering our mothers as tokens of our appreciation for their love and strength? Do we truly honor them for what they do or for who they are or both?
What if mothers want something that is intangibly priceless? What if mothers have a dream that needs just a little bit of air to take flight into something more?
No single mother or mothering nurturer is exactly the same, but the reality of every mother or mother figure being a whole person is universally true.
Maybe the mother in your life has crafty hobbies, but her hands stay full of dishes and diapers. Maybe your mother was a dancer many moons ago, but she can’t seem to move to the music the same way or often enough now. Maybe motherhood is crowded by mandates in a way that doesn’t allow mom to dream of entrepreneurship or pursuing a passion.
Whoever these beauties are, there is something tucked away for which children, friends and family can make space.
Local creative, entrepreneur, wife and mother Cassandra Eugene is the visionary founder of Think Less Create More LLC. Her business was created to empower, encourage and inspire creatives and entrepreneurs to reclaim their passions and live the life of their dreams through the magic of thinking less and creating more.
Deftly navigating a beautiful tension between the gift of motherhood and the gifting of her creative heart is something she hopes to pass on to other creatives.
“I love my girls with all my heart! However, when I became a mother, I did not think I would be able to chase my dreams and be a mom at the same time,” she shared. “All the preconceived notions of what made up a great mother overwhelmed me. Organic meals, dinner every night, bubble baths and bedtime stories, all while going after my heart’s desires. I didn’t know what that looked like. I didn’t think I had it in me; the pressure to be perfect was astronomical and exhausting. Now I’m learning to take it a day at a time and do the best that I can with what I have, and I want other moms and creatives to do the same.”
Eugene’s dedication to this endeavor has liberated many creatives and their families to make space for the beautiful innate gifts within them to genuinely think less and create more. She shares candidly how her passion and loving respect of her husband and children give her space, providing an ever-building and flourishing gift of personal growth to share with others in their world. Her personal choice of freedom – coupled with loving care – is allowing for much to unfold around and within her.
So, what would happen if you offered the gift of time and space to your mother or a mothering friend in your life? How could it be a door for them to soar?
Now, I’m not just talking about a day at the spa, although that is wonderful. I’m talking about space that allows a part of them to reawaken and explore who they are and even who they are becoming, as they love their families in the role of mother.
This doesn’t have to be scary or overly obscure. This Mother’s Day, offer a gift that extends time beyond just the day itself; make the time multiply. For example, give the gift of two hours, unbothered by anything that mom does not want to do over a 30-day period. If your mother or friend is anything like me, you may have stipulations where she cannot use that two-hour “voucher” at the grocery store or to run errands.
Invite mom to explore something that builds upon who she is, which is a gift that keeps on giving to the world that she leads and loves.
Challenge her to take a class related to a hobby or take big steps toward launching her business idea.
I will say it again: Give her dreams a little bit of air so that she can take flight.
What if time for a mother’s love for herself is the gift you offer this year’s Mother’s Day?
But hey … don’t forget the diamonds and massage, too.
Diamone Ukegbu is a local Little Haiti artist, creative, mom and wife.