She had the biggest brown eyes. Her sweet wispy twists were swept into two adorable pig-tails. Her little mocha hands were clasped around the handle of the shopping cart and those big brown eyes seemed to bulge a little as she happily screamed at the top of her lungs.
In her mind, this was completely appropriate in the toy aisle of Target. After all, her accomplice (I assume her sibling) held a toy happily above his head bellowing out in complete unison with her own screams. I locked eyes with the mom as she tried her best to quiet the rising coup over the silence of the store. All I could do was smile at her and give a nod of understanding of her plight.
Then, for some reason, it really hit me.
This scene I had seen and lived a hundred times over -- only now I will never again live it in the same way.
My little brown-eyed children were never returning to this stage of life again.
All the “grown-ups” from my memories were right -- there is no rewind button to life.
I am really smack dab in the center of my motherhood years and their teen/early adulthood life is around the corner.
Has that realization hit you? Or maybe you are reading this with a deep sigh and saying, “Yep, it really is over -- I’ve been in the teen parent life for a while.” Some of you may even be stepping into the “empty-nest” or grandparent life. It’s all just an epic Lion King reference -- literally the circle of life.
(Photo courtesy of Diamone Ukegbu)
The simplest moments can be most precious. How will you savor the moment this holiday season?
That moment of realization for me sent my mind into overdrive. I’ve been an early education educator & artist for quite some time now. I found that in having young children, my passions and expertise had some overlap. But now, the uncharted waters makes me want to research and analyze my way into a sense of preparedness that takes away all surprise.
Yeah, I know.
Shouldn’t I know already that parenting and journeying with kids is nothing short of adventure? Still, the idea of control is alluring.
Thankfully, I had a friend with years and experience beyond my own ask me something so simple. He said, “Do you ever feel like you're caught up in catching up and trying to get somewhere fast and wondering if you’re even doing the right thing?”
My answer had to be yes.
As a parent, yes.
In life, yes.
His words brought a great challenge to celebrate this stage of parenting by pressing into the moment. The moments of together and forward that I will never have in the same way again. There is much to lean into right now.
WIll I miss it?
Will you miss it?
Did you miss it?
Whatever your answer is, it’s ok. Let's take this fall and the Thanksgiving spirit to a whole new level. Let’s choose to get to know our kids in the ever passing moments, even as we keep trying to figure this whole thing called “life and parenting” out.
Local school counselor and licensed therapist, Chloe Markowicz states: “Spending time with your children, especially quality time, has been shown to increase children’s self esteem, communication with parents, sense of belonging, academic performance and so much more!”
She supported this statement with encouragement for children to get to know their parents as well. The invitation into parents’ lives deepens the relationships and brings weight to fleeting moments, be it in a playful moment in their world or a daily car ride.
So take a deep breath and criss-cross your legs on the floor to build a tower with legos; dress and L.O.L. doll in brightly colored clothes; or learn the latest dance from Tik Tok. Stretch your thumbs and your mind to learn a game on Nintendo Switch or try your best to squint at the subtitles in Anime. Whatever it is, press into this season of their lives and soak up every single moment because time indeed is full and ever fleeting.