Driving in Miami is one of those “only in Dade” experiences in real time. There are glimpses of thong-wearing 50-year-olds skating in circles to the rhythm of a beat box, the same stooped-over homeless woman whose umbrella and chair move with the seasons. And of course there are the car accidents you see every day that you can – hopefully! – be thankful not to be in.
You can probably add your own stories of things you’ve seen that could only happen here. For me, many of these moments have happened with mt little Mozlooms by my side.
I’ve been driving three kids to and from two and three different schools at a time for nearly two decades. I’ve seen it all and honestly, I complained a lot about the driving. I’m not blaming anyone; it was our choice. Yet, as I face my eldest child leaving soon for college, I see that most of my driving years are in the rearview mirror. Perhaps that’s why I have a different attitude toward hitting the road these days. In fact, it’s occurred to me that after all these years, I’ve been looking at Miami traffic all wrong.
My windshield clearly was not made of rose-colored glass.
I can only remember a handful of times when I was in the car with my parents as a child as we drove back and forth to school. Perhaps I missed the school bus those days or was coming back from a field trip, but other than that, I took the bus. Out the door by 6:15 a.m., walking a quarter mile in the rain, sleet and snow, waiting for the bus and off to school we went.
Day after day, Rick the bus driver opened the door to start and end my day and the leather seats absorbed my first post-school day emotions. It was on the bus that I would fall asleep in the warm sun, replay the day in my head, and arrive home famished and tired. I don’t recall much of the after-school talk, but I can only assume it was more exhausted babble than actual exchange of important experiences. I think my parents actually missed out on a lot and I missed out on them.
In large metro cities like Miami, parents have a unique opportunity. Depending on the day, we could have anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours in the car with our kids – so is that a nightmare or a lucky break?
Absolutely – driving kids around is frustrating and exhausting, and it sucks up your day. But the silver lining is you get to share the excitement, joy or annoyances of their day while it’s top of their mind; you get to see patterns of behavior that change over time, too, even noticing red-flag behavior. The bonus – when they start driving themselves and you’re in the passenger seat, they start talking to you. It’s like a magic serum! When they get behind the wheel something adult kicks in and they suddenly start talking about life, friends, dreams. The driver’s seat conveys the power of a parent and it’s a miracle moment.
And where else can you come up with myriad inside jokes that you can share day after day: “I bet he cut me off because he’s in a hurry to poop!” or “Hey, look, Slim Walker is up early today," calling out the way-too-skinny senior citizen who’s always walking along Biscayne Boulevard on our route.
I’m not sugarcoating the ride. There are days, oh yes, there are days(!) when tempers are short, frustrations high, traffic maddening, but that’s also life. Modern-day car travel is a metaphor for it. Every day, whether you like it or not, you move forward (should I say crawl forward?). You try to avoid mayhem and when you can’t, you push through. You create habits that mark your way and take along those you care for the most.
Traffic isn’t going to get better, so there’s only one thing to change and it’s not the tires. Pack some snacks and cold drinks, block your work calls when you’re on the road and change the way you relate to the ride.
If those leather seats could talk, what a tale they would tell.
When wearing her work hat, Lisa Mozloom is a media and presentation training coach and PR practitioner at The M Network, but at home she is a woman passionate about raising three teens, loving her husband, and finding ways to extend hospitality and hope to those around her.