I’m sitting in Chick-fil-A again on a weeknight. It is the new normal – to the point where the shift manager greets me every time I walk in with my coupons and computer-laden bags. He knows my table, my favored drinks and just when to check in to see if I need a refill. Although I love Chick-fil-A, I must say that my frequent two-to-three hour visits are tied to a recent family shift for us. We have multiple kids in sports and activities, which means that any time after 3 p.m. Ukegbu Uber is on-call for the best three clients there could ever be.
I played sports as a kid and I have siblings. However, I did not take the time to glance at my mom at pick-up or drop-off, other than to ask if food was available. Who knew the sport I committed to also committed my parents to extracurricular adventures?
Sports provides dividends of growth and fun that are worth embracing every sacrifice it takes to love and grow our kids, even if that means that bedtime used to be 8:30 p.m., and now, on a good day, dinner is just getting to the table at 8:45 p.m.
This season is everything I prayed for and then some. It’s like a heavy Christmas gift under the tree. When you see the gift, you are overwhelmed with anticipation because you know it has to be amazing if it's heavy. That is truly the most classic litmus test for gifts – the weight matters. You grunt to move the gift and try to find an easy space to peel off the tape. Then the anticipation makes you pull harder and soon it’s ripped to shreds and your jaw is agape.
It is the gift you wanted. But you didn’t know it was this heavy. That’s how I feel about life these days. Heavy and amazing.
Cheers to sports and extracurricular parents. In this month of thanks, this column is a letter of appreciation that you may not ever get.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Can you believe I get to be a part of this? I remember telling you over and over how much I wanted to join this sport. I remember telling you, with tears in my eyes, how much I wanted to do this activity – and you found a way. I know it took weird fundraising events, dipping into the vacation fund, and saying no to those shoes you wanted, but I’m so glad you did.
I didn’t know that we would no longer have a set dinner time or that you would have to convert your life so you could live in the car. I had no idea that when you picked up my entire team and dropped them off it depleted the gas tank. I thought the gas just refilled on its own,
I’m also learning to tell you about my project earlier than the day before it's due so you don’t have to tour Walmart locations across the city for supplies. I thought I’d gotten better at that, but it seems like these extracurriculars have made me regress.
Thank you for doing laundry at 10 p.m. and then again at 3 a.m. because you forgot to put it in the dryer and it needs to be ready to go by 5:45 a.m. Thank you for breakfast at 6:15 a.m. and lunch made to go by 6:30 a.m. I’m sure if I had given you the laundry two days before it would have worked out better. Also, now that I know that food is to eat – I will try my best to not forget my lunch or ignore the breakfast you made.
Who knew you had to do all of this? I didn’t. I just wanted the chance to try something new and to build a part of my life. Middle and high school isn’t what I thought and neither is this sport. I’m just glad that even though you didn't know all this was coming, you were brave enough to try something new with me too.
All I can really say is, I love you and thank you.
Sincerely,
Your Kids
Trust me – they’re saying this even if you can’t hear it. Keep giving 100% even if they give you zero words right now. You’ve got this. And spring sports are just around the corner.
Diamone Ukegbu is a local Little Haiti artist, creative, teacher, mom and wife who is in the throes of raising three children while trying to keep her sanity.
