My youngest daughter squealed, “Mooooommmmm! Where are we going?” At 14 years old she wasn’t above contorting herself into a nearly upside-down position in her seat, testing the bounds of the seatbelt with her anticipation. She was blindfolded in the car and had no idea where we were going.
My son, on the same adventure, different day, said, “Wait, wait, now you’re driving left. Oh, and now in a circle? Mom, we’re going north? Oh, wait, I can tell we are on the highway, I hear cars on both sides of us. I see fast moving shadows.”
As a holiday gift last year, everyone in the Mozloom family got an envelope with a blindfold and a date and time that they were to be ready for an adventure.
From the moment they got that gift, they quizzed me about it, day in and day out. I had told no one about this blind giving idea, not even my husband. I think he thought his adventure might be different than it was. Blindfolds have lots of uses.
I had selected an activity that I knew each of them wanted to do and then set up those appointments. This included getting ears pierced, barrel racing on a horse, pole vaulting, and rock climbing. These adventures were personalized and all accessible within an hour’s drive of Miami.
I can’t remember a time when I felt so excited to give presents. I felt joyous, excited by anticipation. For me, these were all feelings that echo the foundation of what Christmas is all about, a joyous expectation of hope, love, and new life. On a less philosophical level, it was simply so much fun! The build-up was classic and the drive was epic. Watching everyone’s mind’s race, as they laughed and tried to figure out the trip, put all my Kegel exercises in full swing.
Once that blindfold was on, it was fascinating to see how fast their senses came to life. The daughter, whose gift was getting her ears pierced, had no idea where we were, but the moment we walked into the mall she said, “We are at the mall. I can smell it.”
My husband, who for years said, “I have one more jump in me!” referring to his pole-vaulting college days, knew the moment we stepped onto the track. “We’re at the track. I can smell it.” He had not been on a running track for 30 years, yet he knew.
They also all talked about feeling the cars whizzing by on either side of our vehicle. It was a feeling, a sound, a heightened sense of awareness. Amazing, isn’t it? We underuse our senses and never even think about it.
It’s been a year since I conjured up this idea as a way to stop time and grab onto memories. I’m not oblivious to the changing calendar. Soon my kids will be old enough to decide if they want to be home for Christmas or be with friends or a spouse. I want to make the most of each time I get to give someone I love a gift. I often get caught up in the consumerism of gift-giving and blindly (pun intended) grab what’s convenient, not what can matter. Too often, gifts consist of a last-minute gift card because there isn’t time to do more. Sometimes that’s fine. But other times, when you want it to matter, it can be hard to figure out what to buy, make, or do.
I share this idea because it can apply any time of the year – birthdays, anniversaries, Hannukah, Christmas – and it’s a sure way to create memories that matter.
Some things to keep in mind if you decide to create a blind giving adventure:
· Plan detours into your trips. Add in some parking lots where you can turn round and round and throw them off. This is harder than you might think. Take a mix of highways and backroads, which means you need more time to get there. Don’t shortchange this part of the journey. It’s a highlight.
· Say nothing at all about the prize, and don’t give any hints. When they ask questions, just smile. Responses like, “That’s interesting,” or “What a great idea,” and “Hmm,” all work.
· Asking someone to wear a blindfold assumes they have a tremendous amount of trust in you, as it could be unsettling and fuel negative anxiety. Consider the person and how you pull this off to make sure it is a good fit.
· My biggest concern was that this gift wouldn’t be experienced on the day I gave it. I was worried the kids would be disappointed by not having something more tangible to enjoy on that day. I still gave them gifts to unwrap and enjoy in the moment, meaning that in the end, it was a more expensive holiday than planned, but I wouldn’t change it.
· Remember, all is fair in love and blindfolds. If you do this to them, they have every right to dig into your drawer, grab an extra blindfold, and put you to the test. Are you ready? I’m definitely not!
I have a vision in my head. I drive down Biscayne Boulevard and see friends leading blindfolded friends to the park, a restaurant, a nail appointment, a movement of blind giving sparked by Miamians. I think we are capable of grander expressions of what matters. Not fancy cars, not expensive clothes, not lifted butts – just kidding, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Radical love for others expressed by little surprises that bring joy. That is what blind giving is.
As we face the gift-giving season, go ahead and order that 10-pack of blindfolds for $6.99 on Amazon and stick them in a drawer for that special gift-giving moment. And if you indulge in blind giving, tag me on @lisa_mozloom. I want to hear all about it!