“I’m sad today,” said my daughter as she twisted her hair between her fingers and tears welled in the corners of her eyes.
“Why, my love?” I replied as I tried to keep my voice steady.
“I’m just ... I’m just sad,” she said, and then seemed to wring herself out as she placed her head in her hands and let the tears finally fall.
I am a mom and I have been an early education teacher for the past six years, and I can tell you that conversations like these are more than normal – they are expected, from my children and from my students, nearly every day.
Every child carries their experience of everyday life with them into the classroom, and a teacher’s role is not to invade or insert, but rather lift up and inspire them to develop skills that can help them transcend the present. This current generation of students, however, is wading through elements of themselves in ways that none of us saw coming.
I’m seeing this truth unfold in the classroom as we continue to navigate this waxing and waning pandemic. Simple social situations that our children were once able to easily surmount are now overwhelmingly intense, triggering downward spirals. And a sudden positive COVID case can send some into a sea of choking emotions, especially those sent home to quarantine.
This happens over and over again.
Yet despite the heroic efforts of many families and professionals during this time, there are still emerging challenges and changes evident in our children. During initial pandemic-compelled closures, there was a 24% to 31% rise of emotional health-related doctor visits among children and youth ages 5-11 and 12-17 respectively, according the Child Mind Institute.
The pandemic has weighed heavily atop economic pressures, preexisting mental health challenges and the status of personal support systems. The impact of that is undeniable. Still, no matter the data, there aren’t any numbers to adequately paint a picture of our children's hearts falling apart at the seams. Nor does it explain the number of children who are inexplicably excelling. The concerning numbers do, however, challenge us to pay attention.
As we move through adulting, we need to be aware of where our children are emotionally, not just as parents but as a community. Our awareness, support and respect is crucial.
As an educator, mentor and coach, I must be aware.
As a citizen of our community, I must be aware.
As an aunt, sister and friend, I must be aware.
As a mother, especially as a mother, I must be aware.
So here is the question: How can you partner with the children in your life to support their mental health? Whether you’re in the library, grocery store or park, you can serve as a model to our kids, a reminder, to keep striving to overcome obstacles.
Your role may entail delivering good news or grave news to a family member or friend, volunteering at a school or program, organizing an activity for your child's close friends, or just holding the door open for the person behind you and offering a smile with your eyes.
Upon becoming an educator, I professionally and personally pledged to be aware of my students’ needs. I’m leaning harder into that promise than I ever have before. I try each day in my class to offer safety to every child who feels sad or invisible.
What will you choose to do or be to serve the mental health of your own children and the children of our city?
Diamone Ukegbu is a local Little Haiti artist, creative, mom and wife.