“Auntie, guess what? I had my first kiss!”
The little girl sat up on the paddleboard and swung her feet in the water. She smiled widely as she spoke to her aunt while they bobbed in the canal.
“Really? How was that?” asked her “auntie” as she kept her expression steady and swirled her hands in the water. Her heart was racing, but her body stayed relaxed as she laid back on the board. She quietly waited to hear what her 9-year-old niece was about to confess as other children’s laughter pealed in the distance.
An auntie’s duty is serious business, and this moment was as serious as it gets.
“It was great,” replied her niece, giggling. “I didn’t know it was coming!”
“Really?” said her aunt as she forced her own giggle into the question. “How did it happen?”
“Oh, I’ve just been kissed by the sun!”
And then they both collapsed in laughter as their paddleboards floated on the gentle current.
These are the types of moments that only an aunt or uncle can have. Whether serious or silly, all forms of confessions, or any other matters of the heart, are welcomed.
(Courtesy of Diamone Ukegbu)
William Soolua celebrating his birthday with his nephew.
Aunts and uncles have an opportunity to be uniquely present. If they are diligent, these relationships can be a safe space to land, catapulting their nieces and nephews into profound personal freedom.
Most of the time, this relational security and comfort has nothing to do with anything other than a need for a different voice to share something true or provide a new perspective. This enjoyment isn’t meant to be compared to parents negatively, just differently. To be heard and loved through these relationships is indescribable.
July 26 is National Aunt and Uncle Day, which recognizes the special place that these connections have in our lives and the lives of the children who share them. They can be from your biological family or a family you’ve chosen. Many of us have “kin” that reflect a bond of choice, and the depth of those friendships often extends to children and even children’s children.
With any holiday, family lore and situations may arise that challenge our thoughts of how we experience or apply them in our lives. History can hold vibrant colors of joy or hues of disappointment, but we can choose how we move in the present and cast a vision for the future.
We have a choice to be a branch of our extended family tree that’s full of hope and free of contempt, where the future is something to build upon and marvel at, not dripping with regret. Our experiences are diverse, and we can choose to interact with the younger generation of our families in ways that impact moments that may not come again.
An aunt or uncle can be a mentor, friend, advocate and cheerleader in special ways. Maybe you're not one in the genuinely familial sense, but is there someone in your life who sees in that way? And if you are an aunt or uncle, do you see your role as irreplaceable and unique?
These relationships can grow and mend families and communities by building trust and creating a village around the next generation. They’re often a large part of a bridge to the future in ways that may seem futile or even difficult in the moment, but the simplest idea, conversation or experience can be a bookmark in a child’s life.
So make that phone call. Plan an outing. Listen to the rambling. Build a fort. We don’t always realize that we’re the supporting characters in a child’s story, but trust me – those special moments and experiences mean so much more than you know.
This Aunt and Uncle Day, we thank you for loving and supporting the families of our greater community – may the many confidences and adventures continue! And we hope, as always, that this column inspires you to think, laugh and reorient your hope in a way that benefits your family and others in your orbit.
Diamone Ukegbu is a local Little Haiti artist, creative, mom and wife.