If you’re honest, you’ll have to admit we’re not as rich, white, and snooty as you may think

Miami Shores, I have been lectured recently by too many people, is a wealthy community. Too wealthy for this to happen, and for that to happen, or for Village Council members not to take care of certain matters of business that should be easily overseen -- again, given the population’s apparent riches.

And because Miami Shores has so much money, it is clear that whenever something doesn’t get fixed, it’s because we simply don’t care enough. Or at all. In the way that rich people don’t care enough or at all about anybody but themselves.

If this is true, then why are the stores of Village Place still largely vacant? Don’t you think retailers would be eager to sell their goods and services to millionaires? And speaking of which, where are the millionaires? Because I’m pretty sure they’re not the ones counting coupons next to me in the Miami Shores Publix while talking to their neighbors about the benefits of the Florida Prepaid College Plan.

Frankly, I never cease to be amazed by the way Miami Shores is perceived. Sure, we have a country club -- which, thanks to the economy and other factors I’ll be gracious enough not to mention here, has gone public. And yes, we have a private day school that is not run by any churches or synagogues -- though it actually sits on the border of our little enclave and unincorporated Miami-Dade, making it mostly not Miami Shores property.

For these and other reasons, we are known as a white, rich, snooty, and above all older town where the residents’ kids have grown and fled the nest, leaving it overflowing with gobs of expendable income.

I can tell you from experience that, of course, some inhabitants of Miami Shores have more money than others. As far as population goes, we have the gamut that runs from childless gay couples to single folks living together, while the majority these days seem to be young- to middle-age parents with kids to clothe, feed, and school. However, regardless of who you are, just about everyone living here has a mortgage, car payments, and very likely loans from school to pay back. I don’t know anyone living in Miami Shores who isn’t struggling right now.

But I don’t have to rely on my own perceptions, friends, and neighbors to back me up. I have statistics in my corner. The 2000 U.S. Census should tell anyone who cares to look that Miami Shores’s residents are not a collection of happily retired CEOs living the glory days. The median household income -- and that’s before we’ve all been laid off, thank you very much -- was $56,306 at the time of the census. Obviously we’re not living in the slums, considering the national median household income was $41,994.

But let’s be real. Kendall, which nobody sneers at for being elitist, had a median household income of $51,330, according to the 2000 census. I’d ask you to do the math but I have now spent too much time in the school system and know how -- er -- effective it is, so I will point out for you that only $5000 per household separates Kendall from Miami Shores. And that distance might be shortened come March 2010, when the next U.S. Census will begin.

So how about Coral Gables, to which we are often compared, and understandably given that we were both developed by the Shoreland Company. (They’re The City Beautiful, we’re The Village Beautiful.) The average median household income in the Gables was $66,839.

The Village of Pinecrest is a community somewhat more in line with our size -- only twice as many residents, instead of four times more in the Gables. According to the 2000 census, Pinecrest’s median household income was $107,507.

In these terms, Miami Shores is a poor relation.

Want more myth-busters? Here are several others that I predict will be confirmed by the upcoming census: A third of all the households in Miami Shores will be composed of families with children under the age of 18. We’ll discover that we’re only two-thirds Caucasian, with Hispanics and Haitians quickly on the rise. We’ll have one of the highest populations of gay couples in the U.S. -- and that will beat out South Beach.

Something even more dramatic to consider, which I cribbed from a real estate blog called MiamiAngelProperties.com. The title of the post? “Beached in Miami Shores.” The article follows the selling life of a renovated, 1658-square-foot corner property with three bedrooms, two renovated bathrooms, a renovated kitchen, a new roof, and a pool. In 1999 it sold for $128,000; in 2004 for $260,000; in 2005 for $499,900; and in 2007 was back on the market for $633,000. As of June, 2009, the asking price was $199,000.

When housing prices fall this dramatically, but our property taxes are still high enough to make my mother choke on her own chicken soup -- well, there’s that arithmetic to be done again. Simply put, ain’t no flush folk around these parts.

The time has come for Miami Shores’s city fathers (and mothers, natch) to launch a public-relations campaign that showcases Miami Shores as it really is. Not moneyed, but middle income. Not exclusive, but all-encompassing. Not crotchety, but youthful and fresh. Miami Shores: The Village Welcoming. Especially if you can pay the mortgage.

Why is it so important to shape our image according to our true nature? Because it will determine our future, which is as much about attracting homebuyers as it is about getting retailers to lease our downtown square footage. Perhaps if the business community knew our true demographics and our real worth, we’d have a place where we could pick up last-minute birthday sweaters for our neighbor’s beloved Chihuahua, or a place where our kids could paint pottery for an afternoon, instead of a failed boutique hawking $300 vases.

Indeed, holiday shopping this past December was more than the usual nightmare -- staring at all those empty storefronts that could’ve made my life easier just had me cranky as hell instead. Even the shops we do have were closed by 6:00 p.m.

Then again, I suspect that some of our city traditionalists enjoy the way Miami Shores is reputed to be: white, wealthy, and all that very sedate and proper jazz. Who knows -- if I fit neatly into those currency-lined pigeonholes, I might change the tone of my cluck. But I don’t. Which is why you’ll hear me squawking until people start commenting that Miami Shores sounds like an awfully neat and maybe even a little fun -- in addition to affluent -- place to live.

Feedback: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it