The Biscayne Times

Aug 11th
Biscayne Crime Beat July PDF Print E-mail
Written by Derek McCann, BT Contributor   
July 2019


policeman_stopLady and the Lost Giraffe

2500 Block Biscayne Boulevard

This woman in this club went to use the restroom and left her purse with her friend by the bar. Her friend was sloshed, as seems to be a requisite in these reports, and wasn’t paying attention. Yes, the purse did go missing. Victim reported to police that her purse had great sentimental and financial value. Missing items include a gold iPhone with a giraffe and dog sticking to the case. We do hope she gets the giraffe back at least.


Baby Clothes Swiper

3400 Block of N. Miami Avenue

Two women walked into this store and began perusing the baby clothes. One of them placed some items in her bag, in a very deliberate and precise way, taking her time to look at each item. She then walked out of the store. But she didn’t go far. No, she stopped to talk with friends in front of the store without a care in the world. She came back for seconds a short time later, and the same behavior ensued. She was confronted and asked to empty her bag, which she did. An employee asked about the items from her first bag and she replied, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She left the store with the stolen baby clothes, worth $340.


One Dumb Thing After Another

100 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

This man was partying at a club and left his wallet and other items on a rail. A group of five people was standing between him and his stuff so he couldn’t keep an eye on it. He got distracted and spent 25 minutes walking around the bar, maybe looking for some action, before he discovered that his items were missing. He tried using an app to track his wallet but had no success. He went around to every bartender and employee to ask if they’d seen it and they said no. However, one bartender told him he had a fraudulent tab of $87 on his card. Wonder if he was dumb enough to pay it.


Deodorant Aisle Drama

200 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

At a local grocery store, a man came in, dressed in a gray hat, blue shirt, and black shorts, and went to the area where the deodorants were. He proceed to take six Dove deodorants for women. He made no attempt to pay and walked right out of the store. The owner called police to file a formal report.


You Just Hang Right There for Me

100 Block of NE 2nd Avenue

A would-be customer walked to the back of this store, heading for the energy drinks, in this case, $50 worth of Red Bull, sufficient for a score of caffeine addicts. He placed these all in a Publix environmental bag and left the store. The plucky clerk tried to intercede and told him to “wait right where he was” while she would call the police -- sort of like saying Mommy will come get you. The thief did not stick around and was last seen running north up the avenue.


Drunk Wants Some Candlelight

3400 Block of N. Miami Avenue

This clerk noticed a man pushing a shopping cart around the store in what looked like an inebriated manner. The man grabbed eight candles, then took his cart and walked past all the points of sale and out the front door. The clerk felt suddenly brave and decided to be a superhero. He tried to use his powers to grab the man, but the culprit violently pushed back, causing the clerk to fall on his ass. Not known if Workers’ Comp is involved as of yet -- at least it can pay for the therapy to nurse his bruised pride.


Customer Service at Its Finest

22 NE First Ave.

Two men walked into jewelry store. One engaged the sales clerk, asking various questions of her. While he was doing his part, the other man was brazenly and calmly pulling jewelry from the shelves and placing the items in his pocket. He took a string of gold necklaces and bracelets, which surely should have created a visual distraction, but the dutiful employee continued answering questions until her “customer” decided to leave. She apparently had no idea what happened until her boss showed her the surveillance video. While focus and customer assistance are important, you must learn to multi-task. This is Miami, people!


Perp’s Drag Race

4800 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

A tall, well-manicured man walked into this store and hung out in the cosmetics aisle. Trying on different types of makeup, he looked into the mirrors and dabbed on some pink eyeliner. He was not there to buy these items, but rather to stuff them in his purse and walk out the store, sashaying his way down Biscayne Boulevard.


Cut and Run in a Smooth Move

5400 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

A man driving a blue Volkswagen pulled up right next to the entrance of this gas station. He walked in and managed to grab three 12-packs of Corona. This, we believe would have been very heavy, but the man had the necessary strength, due to being a gym rat. He is also a beer rat because he loaded all three cases in his car and drove away as the stunned clerk watched.


Wine Testing, Then Taking

2500 Block of NE 2nd Avenue

A gentleman walked into this establishment and began looking at the bottles of wine. He seemed like a connoisseur, looking carefully at each bottle and comparing labels. A clerk was going to help him, but the customer looked as though he had it all under control. He had so much control that he blithely walked out of the store after grabbing two of the most expensive wines that the store carried. He was a connoisseur after all; it’s just that he has issues with criminality, too. The store clerk gave chase but could not catch the bandit.


Case of the Scented Scrounger

3400 Block of N. Miami Avenue

At a store that sells lots of cologne and beauty products, a man walked in and began placing bottles of cologne into the pockets of his jacket. Mind you, it was hot, and he wore a jacket. Nothing fishy there. He smiled at the clerk very calmly and walked out of the business. A surveillance video shows him meeting another man outside and stuffing the stolen items into a bag. The owner told police that the two are frequent shoplifters, and that there a video going back months. We’re pretty sure there will be a sequel too.


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