The Biscayne Times

Dec 15th
Biscayne Crime Beat July PDF Print E-mail
Written by Derek McCann, BT Contributor   
July 2017

policeman_stopI’m Out, Losers!

3599 Biscayne Blvd.

Outside the Pollo Tropical, a panhandler was pestering customers and became increasingly demanding. He took his business inside because statistically you can better get attention from customers while they’re seated and eating their Tropichops. He was asked to leave and told not to come back. Our panhandler had had enough of these cheapskates and kicked in the entrance door window, causing it to shatter. He left before police could arrive and likely wound up at Checkers.


Grab and Go

1600 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

A man by the name of Mr. Berry had frequented the Checkers fast-food restaurant in the past, aggressively panhandling. This time he was blocking the service window, intervening in the order processing. This may work in international relations, but not with folks just wanting their burgers and sodas. A police car pulled up, and Mr. Berry began to walk away, but he was stopped and the obligatory crack stem was found in his pocket.


Very Different Ideas

1200 Block of NE 81st Terrace

A landlady rented a property to a man named Gabriel. It’s not indicated if she knew more than that, but Gabriel had lots of cash. He moved out after his one-year lease ended. When the landlady entered the unit, she noticed that Gabe had made some changes -- it was now a music studio, in fact. The floors had been replaced, a door was now a window, and the bathrooms were downsized -- to give the Artist Named Gabriel more space to cut good riffs, is our guess. He’d also installed soundproof fixtures, so no one really knew.


Traffic Thugging Mess

NE 2nd Avenue and NE 17th Street

Traffic is a frequent challenge, especially near downtown. Traffic at one point had come to a complete halt on account of a man screaming, spitting, and kicking at passing vehicles. The police were notified as more spit entered the already humid air. When they arrived, they saw the man in the middle of the street, still kicking ongoing cars. Police determined that he was the cause of the long backup. Officers ordered him to the ground and he was promptly handcuffed and placed in back of the police vehicle. He was charged with obstructing the roadway and criminal mischief due to damaging at least one vehicle.


Way Too Easy

7500 Block of NE Miami Court

This fellow was in front of his home at night, talking on the phone, when two men appeared to be walking toward him. In a swift move, they took his Metro PCS LG smartphone and a hundred-dollar bill that he happened to be holding in his right hand. Hey, why not walk out at night, holding a hundred-dollar bill? Wallets are so bulky, right? The duo took off, making a right at NE 76st Street and out of sight. Police were notified and the victim refused any medical attention.


Can’t Get Enough Clean Clothes

200 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

At a CVS, a man appeared to really be into laundry detergent. So much so that he brought a booster bag inside the store (they’re lined with aluminum foil to avoid detectors) and started loading it with detergent. There was $330 worth by the time he tried to exit, but he had to get by the brooding manager, who’d seen the whole escapade. Thief pushed him out of the way and ran out of the store, carrying his heavy bag. There’s video of the incident. This must have been a busy crime night because the reporting officer noted he tried to reach a robbery detective by phone three different times and couldn’t get hold of one.


Password Woes

NE 17th Street and Biscayne Boulevard

A vagrant harassed a woman on the bus, asking her if she had five dollars. So she did what any good Miamian would do and ignored him. As she got off at her stop, however, he did as well, and began to follow her. In a panic she pulled out her phone to call 911 but entered her code incorrectly, causing the man to ask, “What are you doing?” This pause allowed him to snatch her purse and get away. She still had her phone and this time, entered the code and called 911. Purse was later found missing most of it contents.


Not a Toker’s Paradise

NE 2nd Avenue and NE 18th Street

This driver failed to stop for a flashing red light and got pulled over by police in a routine stop. Too bad his car reeked of marijuana with no time to get that funk out. The officer immediately noticed the odor and saw a tiny plastic tube with the substance. Driver admitted it was his and was promptly arrested. In the future, it would be best to stop at that blinking light because rushing defeats the whole idea of being stoned.


Just Not Subtle

NE 2nd Court and NE 82nd Terrace

On routine patrol in a part of town known for narcotics sales, officers saw a woman holding a glass cylinder-like inhalation device, otherwise known as a crack stem, to her mouth. When she saw the flashing lights, she took it out of her mouth and put it in her right sweater pocket. We guess using the bra was out, as she was not wearing one. She was searched and crack cocaine residue and the homemade pipe were used as evidence in her arrest.


Random Insane People

1500 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

Sometimes weird things just happen. This person had his leg kicked by a stranger, who told him, “You set me up!” He didn’t provide any details beyond that, but pulled out a folding knife and threatened the victim with it. The culprit reached into victim’s pocket and pulled out fifty dollars. He also got his cell phone. There was a witness, but he ran with the victim when the knife-wielding man told them to run. They ran to the Omni and called police. There are no leads at this time.


Getting Hosed in the Current Economy

2000 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

Man checked his e-mail, and lo and behold, there was an unsolicited job offer from a company he never heard of but which recognized his talents. There was an immediate freelance funding specialist position available, and he would only be on probation one week. After a week passed, and it’s not exactly clear what he actually did, he received a check for $3986, which bounced and his account was frozen. He has e-mails, texts, and phone calls logged, but the firm has disappeared. He did mention that it changed names several times during his probation.


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